I Want To Give You A Wedgee.........

.........but first things first.  Check out what I wore today:



photos courtesy of Deana




Finding these beauties was one of the highlights of my Ebay career



faux fur vest: Club Monaco
dress: H&M
leggings: Aritzia
the coolest vintage cowboy boots ever: Ebay
hobo bag: Gucci
watch: 15 freakin dollars.....God Bless Shoppers Drug Mart
sunglasses: Burberry

So, back to me giving you a Wedgee.  This story starts off about 2 years ago when I purchased the SUPERGORGE Burberry sunglasses Im wearing in the photo.  I loved them instantly & as with all the materialistic bullshit I buy, my life depended on having them.  Hey, before you judge, I DARE you to try on anything that makes you feel spiritually closer to Jackie O and not buy it.  Anywhoo, I bought & planned on wearing them everyday.....but alas, due to their size and lack of nose pads (plus Im sure my greasy T-Zone didnt help either)...they kept sliding down.  Actually less sliding down, more boreline completely slipping off my face.  As y'all know, Burberry aint cheap....and I was HEARTBROKEN to discover I couldnt wear them.

Fast forward to a few months ago, when I was doing what I normally do at work: google-ing random shit on the interwebs.  For some reason.....I like to think it was divine intervention.......I thought of the Burberry shades and entered "prevent glasses from slipping" and hit search.  Instantly, the first site that appeared was http://www.wedgees.com/, and the tag line said "Wedgees - Stop Eyeglass Slipping."

This is my PSA for all of you who suffer from sunglass/eyeglass slippage.  BUY A PAIR OF WEDGEES!  They are cheap, they ship quickly, and most importantly: THEY WORK.

Burberry shades + Wedgees = Fiercewithahighwaist

FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

Operation: S.T.A.R.V.

So, after my "Im too fierce to be working here" rant, I was fortunate enough to get an invitation to go to Puerto Rico for the upcoming weekend.  For those of you who havent been (it doesnt seem to be a popular vaycay destination for Canadians), I highly suggest you make the trip.  Puerto Rico is a very special place....it has a truly magical energy.....kind of like Narnia with latinos.  The culture is very rich, especially in places like Old San Juan, but technically its still the States, which means I can still get Starbucks every morning, speak english, and buy all the Forbidden-by-the-Canadian-Gubment beauty products I normally pick up while in America.  My mission is to grab these 4 things:

1. Organix Coconut Milk conditioner - Im not a perfume-wearing girl, Id rather get a pretty & light scent from things like my hair conditioner & body lotion, and this scent is UNBELIEVABLE:

courtesy of newlynatural.com

2. RoC Retinol Correction Deep Wrinkle Night Cream - Im all about prevention, plus I practice a lot of sun worship when i visit hot climates, so I gotta make up for it:

courtesy of walgreens.com

3. Vaseline Cocoa Butter Vitalizing Gel Body Oil - leaves skin impossibly soft & glowy:

courtesy of walgreens.com

4. Johnson's Baby Creamy Oil Aloe Vera & Vitamin E - if its good enough for a baby's ass, its good enough for me:

courtesy of health-care-beauty.com

Ok, back to my PR trip.  Because it was impromtu, my bod is NOWHERE NEAR bikini ready.  When the weather starts getting more & more frigid in Toronto, I totally go into hibernation mode: less exercising, more cozy-wozy sweats, more stuffing my face with comfort food, less motivation to do anything but crawl right into bed as soon as I get home from work.  Seriously, even a 15 minute walk with Bearoo seems like a feat of epic proportions.  Therefore, I normally gain a few pounds, and my boyfriend jeans magically start fitting more like my skinny jeans.  With only less than a week to get bikini ready, what is a girl (or gay man) to do? 

 OPERATION: S.T.A.R.V.  

S exy

T oned

A thletic and

R eady for

V acation

Operation: S.T.A.R.V. is me drastically cutting down on portion size & becoming really careful about what I throw down my gullet.  That, combined with daily cardio & light weights, makes a world of a difference in such a short time.  Of course, Im not actually starving myself, Im just buckling down and really keeping myself in check for this short time. Of course, Im totally aware Im probably not really losing any fat, I am reducing water-weight and just kinda tightening everything up.  I basically try to have the mentality of someone who EATS TO LIVE. Now, as we all know, I have dedicated my life to the LIVE TO EAT category, so Operation: S.T.A.R.V. turns me into quite the little bitch (like, even more so than usual) & is pretty much the longest 5 days of my life.  But SOOOOOO worth it!!!  On the beach, its a nice change to focus all my energy into getting a fierce tan, not sucking in my gut........

Of course, when i return home to the ice-box that is Toronto, I will proceed to enforce OPERATION SUPERYUM: The Fine Art of Indulgence.......just in time for all the holiday parties!!  The combination of an open bar & hors d'oeuvres is absolute heaven for me.  "Snacks I Have Known" rule of thumb: foods ALWAYS taste better in mini form (ex. sliders, baby quiches, baby lambchops, timbits.......).



FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

Im WAY too fierce to be working here......

One of my most depressing & startling realizations is the fact that, at 29 years old, I am not THE overrated starlet du jour.  Seriously, after 3 TV series leads and countless commercials, it absolutely devastates me that Im not being paid on a daily basis to do what comes naturally to me: ENTERTAIN.


SIGHHH......anyways heres what I wore today, to basically unload a dishwasher & bring people coffee:




photos courtesy of Kanga

  tunic: H&M
tights: Pacific Mall
necklace: Marciano
watch: Guess
booties: Aldo

Even tho I admit Im not always the most "see the glass half full" kinda chick in the world, I have to acknowledge the little luxuries that get me thru the workday:

1. My favourite morning hot drink blend.....1 bag green tea & 1 bag peppermint.....in my snazzy Starbucks mug.  Side note: the ONLY way I can justify purchasing anything from Starbucks is by pocketing a shit-load of Splenda packets whenever Im there.  I figure the amount of money Ive spent there VS. the amount of Splenda Ive stolen from them, Ive pretty much broken even......

2. My infamous ball chair....where my ass lives 7 hours a day.  I cant use it when Im wearing a mini cuz lets face it; NO ONE needs to see that (without dindin, drinks, & a new Chanel wallet first.....)

3.  My little notebook.....where I write all my thoughts & book-learnin's.  I love stripes.  Theyre very French-Riviera-meets-Audrey-Hepburn chic.

4.  Kanga - my "life partner" at work.  Seriously, this woman is my world from 9-5, Monday-Friday.  After many fights (our drama puts The Hills girls to shame) I think we finally understand that we're stronger together than apart.  Ive never had a sister, but I imagine that relationship being very similar to mine & hers: sometimes I feel like shes the only one who understands me & has my back, other times shes irritating to the point of me wanting to fucking kill the bitch.....and I dont doubt for a minute she feels the EXACT same way about me.

FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

Snacks I Have Known.......

 Id like to dedicate this post...and my life in general.......to my first love: FOOD.  Anyone who knows me knows I freakin LOVE to eat.  It's seriously a life goal of mine to host a TV show called "Snacks I Have Known....." A half hour show completely devoted to the fine art of noshing......where I would travel the world exploring hard-hitting topics such as:

1. What are the Top Ten Greatest Snack Cakes of All Time?
2. The search for the best Ketchup Chip on the planet
3. Guatemala's answer to the popsicle: THE CHOCO-BANANO
4. Why is Cookie Crisp cereal STILL not available in Canada?

As you can see, the possibilites are endless.......and it would be freakin AWESOME to watch stoned!!

Keeping on the subject of stuffing my face......here are some SUPERYUM foods I have enjoyed recently:

Apps at Harlem Restaurant - TORONTO:

My absolute favourite sushi place where I ALWAYS order the same thing: gyoza, salmon sahimi, & filet mignon (medium rare)......
Yamoto's - TORONTO

The best BBQ chicken, ribs, potato salad, dirty rice, & beans Ive EVER eaten!!!!

Papa Joe's - NEW ORLEANS:

The perfect southern meal: Fried chicken, mac and cheese, & collard greens.....well, what was left of it anyways......with Louisiana Tabasco Peppers.
NEW ORLEANS:



Prime Rib @The Granite Club - TORONTO

Chocolate covered strawberries & Grand Marnier
The Biltmore Hotel - CORAL GABLES, FLORIDA

Grilled fish & shrimp - DOMINICAN REPUBLIC:

Avocado & Lobster Appetizer
Beluga Restaurant - CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA

Remnants of a seafood paella.....
SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO:

Philly Cheesesteak....brought on the itis like nobody's business......
ISHKABIBBLE'S EATERY, PHILADELPHIA:

Whopper & Fries....hold the mayo and put half the fries on the burger.....I could actually hear myself getting fatter with this one.......
BURGER KING - TORONTO

Finally, Id like to end this post with a photo of the beautiful & talented Rihanna doing her very best impersonation of a ketchup chip:

photo courtesy of Splash News

FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

I have a feeling a lot of my posts are gonna start like this.......

So I was completely wasted last night.  It started at Terronis on Adelaide (where years ago I actually hostessed for 1 day & quit after they told me part of my job was to make sure all the TP in the ladies washroom was restocked) and ended with some serious self-loathing this morning.  We went from Terronis to Real Sports (highly overrated) and i ended up in bed drunk-texting my most recent ex.  Not a crazy-sexy-cool text like "Hi honey...whats up....missin u & hope ur well.....muah!"........but a really nasty one.  Like I mean I spit some serious venom at the muthafucka.  Was it my finest & most dignified 45 minutes?  No. Would I take it back?  Not necessarily.  Even though I know that relationship is completely over & this may not be the PC thing to do, I fully admit that I am still very impressed by my ex.  He has a lot of the qualities I look for in a man: dominant, masculine, self-made, talented......plus the fact that he had a huge wang didnt hurt either.

Anyways, nothing soothes a gnarly hangover like brekkie from Dirty Ron's.  I always go for the Sausage & Egg McMuffin with a hasbrown.....and the only acceptable way to eat it is by breaking the hashbrown in two and shoving half of it into the McMuffin:

Even tho all I want to do is curl up in my jammies & sleep right now, i still attempted to look somewhat fiercewithahighwaist this morning.  Always remember, no matter how bad you feel on the inside you HAVE to make some sort of effort, because honey, the world preys on those who look weak:

shirt: H&M
skinny belt: Aritzia
old school jeggings: Ebay
boots: Aldo




...is it me or do leather boots look so much fuckin cooler when theyre worn in?

photos courtesy of Kanga

 Im really really proud to say Im wearing old school jeggings...which are made of actual thin cloth-like material (like leggings) but have the wash & stitching like a pair of jeans.  The type of "jeggings" (god, for some reason I cant stand that word) that most stores carry nowadays arent really jeggings at all....they're just skinny jeans.  Check me out....I sound like a fashion OG!!!!!

FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

OH MY GOD - I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!

Stop The Press!!  A 28-year-old basketball player cheated on his beautiful wife?????  I never could've seen this coming!  I mean, this is some Nostradamus-type prediction shit right here........



courtesy of themockdock.com



This is why I dont believe in:

1. Marriage before the age of 30

2. Athletes being even remotely capable of not shoving their penis into anything that moves.

SO ANYWAYS, more importantly heres what I wore today:

shirt: BDG from Urban Outfitters

skirt: Co-Operative from Urban Outfitters (high-waisted OF COURSE)

tights: Assets from The Bay

booties: Aldo

watch: Garage (YES its $25 knock-off of the Kors watch and YES im very proud to wear it)







photos coutesy of Kanga



As you can see....I LOVE a deal.  I think its the Desi in me.  Dont get me wrong, Ill justify spending 3G's on a Gucci hobo faster than you can spit, but I dont believe expensive labels always equal great style.  If you dont agree with me, check out Pacific Mall on a Sunday.  Anywhoo, I like to believe my personal style & flavour bring the clothing to life, NOT the other way around.  That way Im sure Im wearing the clothes.....they're not wearing me.  See, i told you it was always about me.........

FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

Recent Ebay Finds........

I heart ebay.  For those of you who are hesitant to try it......dont be.  Actually, I take that back - be very hesitant. The last thing I need is more assholes bidding against me on some fabulous item.
IMMA CRAFTY BITCH!


1. Vintage beige grandpa cardi (hell no....thats not me in the picture)



2. Vintage fox fur stole



3. Miss Sixty "Adrian" boots in black




I like ebay's shit like I like my meat: RARE & DISCOUNTED........


FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST

Royal Engagement!

So Kate Middleton & Prince William are engaged.....and I must say she looked STUNNING at the press conference.  Oh how I would have loved Willy to marry someone who gave pure Banjee girl realness.....maybe theres still hope for Harry the Ginge.  Anyways, her dress was super gorge....navy is such a fresh alternative to black....and that tiny little waist!!  Good Lord!  Her hair looked amazing too.......Im assuming she acheived that look with a blow out followed by some good ol fashioned hot rollers.




MORE IMPORTANTLY lets talk about the rock.  18 muthafuckin carats.  Work bitch!  And I adore the fact that its not a same ol' same ol' diamond...but a beautiful sapphire.  And I WORSHIP the fact that its Lady Di's engagement ring.  No joke: that was a very sweet way for Big Willy to honour his mother....I think hes a keeper because you can tell a lot about a man by the way he treats his mother.  ANYWAYS back to Lady Di........talk about a woman who deserved the title of "Lady!"  I think she held herself with a lot of class & dignity......she really was the "People's Princess."  Of course, I LOVE how after she & Charles got divorced she dated a filthy rich Egyptian (daddy owned Harrod's & The Ritz in Paris), and the icing on the cake thats he was a big ol' Muslim!!  Way to say FUCK YOU to the impossible ideals the Royal Family (& society in general) subjected her to.  ALLUH AL AKBAR!!

Check out Diana's shorts.....very FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST:



While we're on the subject of big ol' stank-ass filthy rocks, lets take a look at some other iconic engagement rings:

The "Bennifer" Ring.....only the goddess herself could pull this shit off....and no matter what anyone says, I'll never be fooled by the rocks that she got:



The "Newlyweds" Ring......I normally hate pear-shaped rocks, but this was a stunner.  Plus Jessica Simpson didnt even have to put out to get that ring.......that bitch had skills:



The "Convert to Judaism" Ring.....EXACTLY what I want when Im engaged.....ONLY BIGGER:



33.19 carats.  Completely vulgar & perfect for bitch-slapping........JUST LIKE MOI!


FIERCEWITHAHIGHWAIST